my beautiful ♥

" Come into my heart dot com, ID password ‘your love’
I’ll be sure to show you my heart, I love you like a love song
Like it like it like it "

" With a warm heart, I’m waiting for you "

salam. hai . saya rindu NUR ATHIRAH MAT ZAHARI yg awesomely cool. kbye salam

Letting you go
still thinking about this thing a lot
you got me shaken up
Please tell me there’s a way
And it got my head just spinnin’ round round round round
Don’t wanna take a fall
It’s best to break it up
It’s gonna be better for you to move on
Uh huh we break it break it
Or thought we make it make it
And now we cover it up

I swear I won’t even for a second
cause you any pain
in order to protect you
there’s already no other way
Baby our love itself brings us pain
And I got nothing, nothing to say

You know when you lose your smile
I will place the blame on myself
Those words, and even the light
I will lose sight of everything else

Sad it just ain’t happening
Wish it could be better
Sorry to be scrapping
But I just can’t let ya
Shouldn’t be less than happy
I said look at me
I couldn’t live with myself seeing you lacking
The things you deserve
Must believe that it hurts
that lead this world
I feel the aching through my body
it just takes a bigger part of me
to be let you go
I wish that one soul

Tell me goodbye, tell me goodbye
those hands that embraced me
seem to be letting go
merely being by my side is not kindness
Tell me goodbye

cr : BB

WARNING : EMO POST

saya takut saya phobia saya gerun saya tak mahu lagi rapat dengan seseorang. sebab setiap kali saya cuba rapat, saya akan sakit kan dia tanpa saya sedari dan kami akan jadi jauh gila.

saya benci saya

BYE

as it stated, I'm saying goodbye.

to who ?

this blog lah ! ;P

oh and I'm sorry for every mistakes I've done and I won't blame you if you don't want me. just tell me goodbye, I'll try to understand even though it will make a big hole in heart. I'll be bella, a good one I promise :)

study study study !

GO !

hellO

yes hello to you and salam to you. to whom ever really did read this poor lacking of everything blog ;P I just want to stated few things about me. random yet useful if you want to use it against me *xtau la mana tau ada orang nak berperang dgn saya ;P*

1- I have a low confidence level which I know for long time ago. I did want to change this attitude but no thanks, I'm happy with the way I am. I know I always 'look' confidence if I gave a presentation or something because I was bajet to look cool. it's all in the face and you can tell that I am not confidence at all. and even if I speak to anybody, it's just hard to see then in the eyes and just talk. I prefer looking at my feet than their face. it sort of scared me ? and it is really truly hard to talk to male except for my father. plus the fact that I hate 'em. okay enough.

2- I know many people said that 'you are the greatest friend I ever had' to their friends. I've got couple of that and that word made me think and the conclusion I've made, no I am not. it's just when I am down, my friend support me and sooth me in a very comfortable way. but when the other way around, I just don't know what to do and say. I could only just hug them and let go. I'm not a adviser person and that fact made me feel sick. huh

3- OKAY now we go to the bright side i guess ;P I LOVE DEBUSSY ! I know classic right ? HAHA. not only debussy, but the sound of piano (?) instrumental kot dorang panggil. entah. I also adore carter burwell. genius with the piano ;) terasa sebak je dengar bunyi ting ting ting tu berlagu. awwww ;) and tanam semangat baru nak ada keyboard bila ada rumah nanti. maybe I'm not playing it. HE HE HE ;P really love my new interest ! I call it piano listening. biar salah ;P

hah felt nice just to let it go for a while don't you think ?
I don't even know why you're reading my blog, anybody. macam lah ada apa dalam ni? puff~ okay perasan ada orang baca belah lah.
buhbye

and so ?

I have to repeat to myself so many time....

I DON'T CARE

I DON'T CARE

I DON'T CARE

some how, it release my tension ;)

salam ;)

okay today's post gonna sound like I'm a bad girl or something. HAHA putus fius gila minah ni ;P
*n my bahasa today gonna be like tak berapa betul sebab baru habis baca novel hlovate ;)*

malam semalam pergi rumah dinner kat rumah wak yah. sajasaja sebab nenek pun ada kat situ. then family uncle atan pun ada juga. and so does his son fazlan shah or simply alan ;)

Dalam family, belah mak la, orang boleh dikatakan memang lepak dengan budak laki. faham tak? HAHA biaaarrr. entah since kecik pun, kalau nak main-main lepas kutip duit raya pun, antara boys and girls mesti la buat aktiviti lain kan? so saya lebih tergerak mengikut aktiviti lelaki ;P and yg kurang dua tiga tahun dengan saya pun lelaki. takkan la nak main barbie doll dengan girls yg bawah umur tu? alamat menempah maut tak tidur malam ;P so saudara yg saya kamceng n satu kepala otak tak berapa nak betul is farid and alan. ingat lagi dulu waktu saya darjah 6 kot. parents farid which is my uncle and auntie ajak me and alan with farid ofcourse to awana genting. ya Allah memang biol kitorang waktu tu. habis semua lawak antara tanah tinggi keluar ! HAHAA ;) rinduuu. walaupun sekarang dah tak boleh nak ikut beronggeng sesuka hati w/o parents saya, kami still 3 kepala yg memang sewel tahap tak boleh belah ;P and when kitorang bergabung tenaga, memang riuh satu kampung. and n benda yg paling best be friend dengan dorg kan, boleh BELASAH dorg puas2 ! HAHA ye la mana boleh tetiba pukul laki stranger kan. kang tak pasal dia bawak geng dia mau tak hidup lagi insan bernama zulaikha ni ;P so kalau geram tahap giga pun, laki dua orang tu jadi magsa dera~ HAHA kesian tapi lantak. saudara ;P

the one with specs, is alan. and he is so much skinner than this ;) good job lah! the simply botak tu farid. paling best cubit dia sampai lebam ;P yg pegang tangan jebat tu azib. takdekena mengena dengan entry ni sorry ;P

okay benda kat atas ni saja tulis sebab lama tak bergelak sakan ngan dorg ;P rinduuu konon. HAHA nak muntah aku~

kembali ke alam yg betul sikit.

a slogan on a T-shirt by florida clothing company David and Goliath.

HAHA saya tahu gambar ni tak sama dengan post saya kat atas tu. tapi gambar ni macam membahagiakan saya. well atleast not all, I repeat, NOT ALL boys are stupid. only the one that melepak takde kerja lain nak melainkan dok phewit2 anak dara orang. n boys yg player tahap tak ingat dunia. n boys yg smoking. OMG I HATE YOU WITH ALL MY INTERNAL ORGAN ! wahai lelaki, tolong lah berubah mencontohi Rasulullah dan para sahabat. tak rugi. lagi perempuan suka *-_-* tinggalkan rempit lumba motor walaupun tak de niat. teruskan usaha mengenal Allah. n jangan buat orang baling batu kat diri tu. tolong lah jaga diri oi.

dah penat mengarut. sambung baca buku ;P

p/s : JANGAN LUPA TERUS BERDOA UNTUK SAUDARA SEISLAM KITA DI PALESTIN. WAJIB KITA MENDOA KAN MEREKA. SEMOGA ALLAH PERMUDAHKAN URUSAN MEREKA. AMIN.

salam !

some people say

salam.

we're going to play a game today. a game that start with: some people say...

some people say I am not like how I used to be
some people say I have change to more girlish me
some people say I abandon them to be with others
some people say I am smart and I can get high score
some people say I studied the most
some people say I am the most happy person they met
some people say nothing

well

I say I am changing and it is never your problem
I say will you hate me just because I am more girlish
I say I never going to abandon those who doesn't abandon me
I say everybody are equal in their mental state
I say simply no
I say never judge the book by it's cover
I say just get lost

lastly, I DON'T CARE .

mood swing~

salam !

sorry for my mood swing. I know I shouldn't have effect others around me with my emotion. I've been training them. yes, I've been training my emotion. even when I'm crying, at a split second I can laugh for those who made me cry. HEBAT tak hebat anak mak dah pandai berlakon ! HAHAHA ;P but sometimes, rasa penat dan tak larat. so ter-effect orang tu. I am mad at you but usually I padam all those feeling away. but entah la, terasa penat dan tak larat. so saya berdiam diri dan shut my mouth up so I won't shout at you. so now, I am very and trully sorry for the way I behave. may Allah pelihara me from any baaaaad emotion and feeeeeling :)

okay ayat x betul sebab english and bm sudah habis ! ;P padahal spm belum kot !

good luck fellows for the remaining papers. konvoi ramai2 pergi kino hari jumaat before cuti okay !

toodles !
*yup, emosi still tak setabil. kejap biol kejap sengal. biasalah anak gadis -___-

something we can't force? or can we?

salam.
there's nothing much.but yup, I do staring out the windows for couple of minutes and my friend would say, "oi berangan !" and I will be back to normal. the thing is, it, snot me that I'm berangan about. it's me and my surrounding. tak paham abaikan. look, people share things right? and of course they share it with someone they trust. I also did that BUT when I share my thing with the people I trust, I don't tell any body else especially my good friends. why in the world did I do that? what do you think when your good friend share their problem with some other good friend, but you know she has a problem and you also know she tell the others but not you. she never going to tell you what she tell to the other. do you know what this person feel?

stupidly helpless .

okay fine if you don't want me to know your problem, but please, just please don't talk about your prob with the other IN FRONT of me. seriously I'm tired of all this. I know I should stand beside you and help you help you, but what could I do if you don't want this person to be beside you? it is your choice, not mine. and if really are getting tired of me, let me know. I can be away, I promise.

ya Allah, bless us with your nur and sakinah. make the bond between us the strongest of them all, so that we can find Your path, together. Amin

かなしみ

why does this tears won't fall down ?

yes I feel your pain but yet,
it wasn't sure,
and I certainly don't have any idea in the whole wide world to make it right again.

dang it ! urgh now I'm really mad. just get lost ! sometimes I just hate peoples and I hate feelings. and again yes, we are attuned to hate things that we don't like even though that thing was the best for us.
Luckily I do still have Him. only to Him I will seek guidance. please forgive me. for I have done nothing to you. I'm just sorry.

sorry...

4-teen dayS !

salam! :)

Alhamdulillah I've survived 14 days of straight school days! it is a wow thing for me so just accept my hyper thinking (?) HAHA.

# the first week, 7 days, pile up all the ilmu that the teachers had given us!

# that saturday, banat of G4squared have extra chemistry class with cg. Hasnah. from 8 A.M till 7 P.M! but of course there's a break. it's not like they want to torture us -__- and break? LOTS AND LOTS OF FOOD! serius kenyang gila nak pengsan!

# that sunday, eventhough B3K have bowling tournement, which I sincerly really and truly want to go, the KKT5 had something in mind. bengkel BAT. with my plastered (?) heart, I went to the bengel and got the ilmu! :)

# another week of school with all the story in the world and ilmu. and ofcourse, 7 days!

# this saturday, we've got bengkel modern math. and that lovely teacher are so funny and hilarious yet very tipsy! HAHA. cool presenter and nice tips. thank you for the ilmu!
It didn't stop there... next! study group! form 4 physics. in my red bedroom :) me, yami, nome, kinah, tipah are the candidate of otak nak meletup ;P so yeah, three chaps until the evening and chem at night. meracau saya dalam tidur ;D

# this sunday, today. bengkel biology! lots of information and tips we got from the teachers. such a dedicated teachers. thank you. BIOLOGY ITU SENANG!
owh then me, yami and alia went to jusco wangsa maju and of course, sae pun ada. HEHE. we met at MISS T! yes, that PINK shop! XD bla bla bla suddenly sae want to buy me a belated birthday present. *saya ada bagi hint2 ;P* so dapat la. she ask me to name it a bit like hers sooo.....


Mr. E'E !
kalau tak tahu sebut tanya saya ;D thank you so much sae. SUKA SANGAT! he is so helplessly CUTE! ;D tunggu bulan 7 taw! :P

14 days of input the ilmu, sampai kosa kata pun tak betul -__- but alhamdulillah I still survive and happy about it! :P thank you Allah and my family and friends! *macam buat speech ape je*

till then!
saya suka gambar ni ! macam lucu ! ;D

al-kisah

salam! ;) something weird happen today. not weird. shocking. HAHA takde papepun sebenarnya :P

darjah 2 ;
jojo hanya mengenal seorang sahaja rakan yang boleh diajak berbual dan bermain kerana jojo seorang yang teramat pemalu. rakannya pun dua x lima lah. dan pada tahun ini juga lah, jojo buat pertama kalinya terasa hati kepada seseorang yang diberi nama AD. beliau boleh dikatakan terpikat dengan AD tetapi didiamkan sahaja takut rakannya tahu.

darjah 6 ;
kerana ketidaksamaan kelas, jojo berpaling tadah kepada orang lain lalu tidak pandang AD.

tingkatan 2 ;
bertemu semula. dan sama sekolah dan kelas dan bas sama. jojo berasa sungguh ajaib! tiba-tiba beliau minat kepada AD kembali.

tingkatan 3 ;
gerak-geri AD diperhati. sungguh comel. macam perempuan pun ada. jojo suka apabila AD menyandarkan sikunya di kerusi bas. macam kanak-kanak.

tingkatan 4 ;
jojo benci sangat dengan AD. kerana AD telah berubah sikap. daripada innocent kepada poyo lalu kelihatan seperti buaya darat! ini semua gara-gara mengikut perangai rakan sebaya. jojo dalam diam berdoa kepada Allah supaya membawa AD ke jalan yang lurus semula.

so there's the al-kisah. and you are still wondering why did I even write about this story that doesn't connected in any person who are alive. and I'm wondering too! ngeee ;) the moral of the story is, *bapak skema ayat -_-* a person can like love or what ever feeling but NO approach to the zina! *ayat pahape*. I saw this at someone blog,

"Barang siapa jatuh cinta,

kemudian beliau MENAHAN DIRINYA,

tidak MELUAHKAN PERASAANNYA lalu mati,

maka matinya itu ialah SYAHID."

subhanAllah indahnya kalau kita dapat mati syahid! cuma dengan tidak mendekati zina like sms or try to talk to that guy or girl insyaAllah.
tips for get this thing out of our head:
1) always remember Allah and PARENTS!
2) just get rid of all the boys phone number in your cell *yang takde hubungan kerja la*
3) never reply to them.

3 easy step for us to be closer to Allah~ insyaAllah :)

feel strong!

untuk saya, dia, kami, dan kamu!





versi yang tak ada dialog pun ada. mintaklah kalau mahu :P
*bajet ada orang suka gambar ni! -_-

when time...

salam .

aaah so long. go to school seven days a week. rasa nak muntah pun ada but bertahan je lah! here's the story.

there are time, when we fail but said that it's not our fault.

there are time, when we angry and pointed at somebody else to blame.

and there are also time, when we really need help from Allah, but we didn't get the chance to do it. and like so many people we blame Him for not giving us a chance.

brothers and sisters don't you see?! why must we BLAME others for what ever had happen? it doesn't matter whose fault it is but why must we blame them?
why can't we blame OUR SELF instead? have you ever think that what you did is always right or wrong? or when you tawakal towards Allah, have you DONE ENOUGH to get to that point? remember, doa usaha ilham then baru tawakal. the USAHA part is super pernting! and seriously, when we down, get down to Him. insyaAllah everything will be alright ;)

the prawn behind the rock is that *;)*, there's a girl. ada ujian hafazan as-sajadah hari tu. dia yang malam semalamnya dah penat dengan tuisyen tidur awal. lepas tu baru nak hafal m/s 2 dalam kelas. dapat la 4 ayat. punya tawakal besar punya dekat Allah supaya beliau dapat m/s 1. nama kena panggil, dapat ayat yang selepas yang dihafal. yaAllah membuaknya kemarahan si girl ni tadi. dia balik ke tempat duduk lalu berasa bengang. lantas tutup muka je lah. lalu si girl pun berfikir, kenapa Allah tak tolong beliau. TAPI! beliau terus berfikir, dah cukup ke usaha nak dapat pertolongan Allah?! kenapa tak tidur pukul 3 pagi tadi menghafal? girl pun menangis kerana menyesal. menyesal kerana tidak dapat pertolongan Allah kerana usahanya tidak cukup. girl itu pun terus tabah dah bertekad ingin menghafal keseluruhannya dan bertawakal kerana ingin disayangi Allah :)

finish! ;)
till then! wassalam!

jom !

salam !

KAK ZAZA! heheh not a stalker eh? ;) thank you sanggup baca luahan hati remaja ni :P can't wait for you to balik malaysia lah! ;)

last wednesday, our batch, G4squared *banat* held a meeting (?) not quite. just to announce the organization of our batch and talk about the upcoming activities. and about gotong-royong kutip sampah kan, I think that's cool! show some example! :D I'm out of point. what ever lah.

just be more positive. just do your best. just don't lose faith.

just

just

...

sometimes you wonder......

KENAPA ESOK SEKOLAH ?!

confuse .

salam.

have you ever feel confuse? ahaa what a stupid question to ask -_- it's just that have you ever feel, no, confused between good and bad? deeds and sin? love and anger? life and dead...

I don't think there's many people out there thinking about small matter like this. thinking about everything that you've done for the day. even the tiny thing. for me, its my talent (?) you could say. all of the small-not-very-important matter. I will always put those in my head eventhough sometimes I dont really need to. buff up! *tak tahu pun apa maksud dia, macam best :P*

so have I been good? how about my deeds? have I satistfy you enough? how could I make you smile again and again and again?

that's all for now I guess.
~aishiteru kara~

p/s: Micth Albom's novel, <3.>

yeah, it's time~

Alhamdulillah is the only word i can describe. Thank you and Sorry for all of my wrong doing. and some how, telling this things in english made it easier. hahaha improve lah english tu makcik :P
"sono taiyou ga ikimasho~ dakishimete~"
apebenda aku mengarut ni -_-
we will move forward together if we're like this. pray to Allah and He will give it to us.
Thank you :)

okay serious ni :P

salam.
I feel to write in malay since my grammar literally sucks. hahaXD teacher Alia, I will improve on my grammar soon insyaAllah :)

pagi jumaat yang indah. waaaah hebat nya dunia ini. entah kenapa sekarang suka sebut hebat. macam hebat! -__- back to reality. then bahagia juga sebab tidak perlu hadiri program jumaat. hohoho makin tua makin liat, isy isy ;D SEBAB! ada latihan CHORAL SPEAKING! kami dimaklumkan oleh cg rushida rabu tu, cg kata siapa yang masuk CS masba masuk terus competition for CS antara sekolah gombak. wah, bukan main happy lagi lah kan kami form 5 ni. dapat la segulung sijil lagi :P kami sangat happy berlatih rabu and jumaat tu.

jeng jeng jeng.
hari sabtu yang saya hadiri sebab nak tuntut ilmu dan sebab nak semangat2 pasal CS. sebelum zuhur, siti amirah kamarul zaman jumpa saya dengan muka sedihnya tu.

her : nak dengar berita sedih taaaak?
me : alaaa, apaaaaa?
her : tadi cg rushida kata cg sedih sangat sebab hari ni cg dapat surat dari competition tu. kata antara syarat dia pelajar dari form1 hingga form4 JE.
me : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

serious patah hati gila gila gila gila nak matiiiiiiiiiii! what the heck with the competition? SPM bulan 11 okay! *x sedar diri betul lah budak ni -_-* then pergi jumpa cg shida. cg dgn muka sedih tunjuk, ikOi tengok la ni. tunjuk satu sampul yg berisi kertas yg nak aja aku koyak2kan. grrrr.

konklusi?

semua PATAH HATI !

*ada udang sebalik batu, ada hikmah lah tu Allah buat macam tu. innaAllahama'assobirin~*